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It’s almost impossible to get through December without seeing Buddy the Elf. We all know the ‘world’s best cup of coffee’ line and the syrup-covered spaghetti, but for us writers, the real gift is David Berenbaum’s script.
We took a look at the professional ‘Script Score’ for Elf to see what actually makes this engine run, and what we can steal for our own holiday projects, well, or general scripts.”
How "Fish-Out-Of-Water" Creates Natural Comedy
Our report highlights that Elf is a prime example of the implementation of the “fish-out-of-water” principle. Buddy’s journey from the North Pole to Manhattan provides natural comedy as he is forced to navigate a world that is completely foreign to him.
“The screenplay maintains a coherent fish-out-of-water structure with clear acts and escalating conflicts. The stakes rise organically from personal identity issues to saving Christmas. The climax effectively brings together all narrative threads while resolving both external and internal conflicts.”
Contrast is your best friend: When you put someone as innocent as Buddy in a grumpy, busy city like New York City, you don’t have to “invent” jokes 🤣 they just happen on their own. The conflict and comedy feel real because they come from two completely different worlds colliding. It works because the script takes all the “adult” frustrations we struggle with and looks at them through the eyes of a child.
→ Therefore, we’ll give the following score for Plot Construction: 8/10.
💡 Screenwriter’s Tip:
Turn your hero’s best trait into their biggest problem. Buddy’s obsession with Christmas is a double-edged sword. In the corporate world, his non-stop cheer causes total chaos. But in the end, that same belief is the only thing powerful enough to make Santa’s sleigh fly and save the holiday.
Balancing Chaos with Heart: Walter Hobbs Transformation
While Buddy is the star of the show, the emotional weight of the movie actually rests on his father, Walter. Our coverage report gives the script high marks for Walter’s “natural” transformation. He starts as a workaholic on the “Naughty List” and ends as a caring father.
“The script effectively builds emotional investment through Buddy’s innocent worldview contrasted with cynical New York. Walter’s gradual transformation creates genuine heart without becoming overly sentimental. The father-son relationship delivers authentic emotional payoff.”
→ We rate Emotional Engagement: 8/10
💡 Screenwriter’s Tip:
Walter’s development (from cynical children’s book publisher to founder of his own company) is the “payoff” that prevents the film from being just a string of jokes. It gives the audience a reason to care about the chaos.
Dialogue & Quotability
If there’s one thing everyone remembers about Elf, it’s the lines. From “I’m singing! I’m in a store and I’m singing!” to “You sit on a throne of lies,” the movie is a quote machine.
The reason it works is because the lines are not only funny, but also characteristic. Buddy doesn’t talk like a New Yorker, but like someone who has spent his entire life reading “The Code of the Elves.”
“Dialogue is consistently sharp, character-specific, and quotable. The script successfully balances heartfelt moments with humor through distinctive speech patterns for characters like Buddy, Walter, and Miles Finch. The dialogue efficiently conveys exposition while maintaining entertainment value.”
→ We believe that the script deserves a 9/10 for Dialogue.
💡 Screenwriter’s Tip:
Buddy’s dialogue works because he takes everything literally. When he sees a sign for “World’s Best Cup of Coffee,” he doesn’t see an ad; he sees a world-class achievement. To make your own dialogue stand out, use distinctive speech patterns. If you took the names off the page, you should still know exactly who is talking based on how they see the world.
Want the full breakdown?
We’ve only scratched the surface by looking at Plot Construction, Emotional Engagement, and Dialogue. There is still so much more to learn from this script, including how it scored on Theme and Message, Originality, and Character Development. If you want to see the full 11-page report, you can download the complete Script Coverage for Elf below.
Room for Improvement?
Even a script that lands in the 87th percentile has notes. If we were sitting in a writers’ room today looking at the Elf screenplay, here is how the professional coverage breaks down the “Pros” and the “Cons.”
The Wins: Why the script got a "strong consider”
↳ The fish-out-of-water premise is executed brilliantly. Buddy’s journey from the North Pole to Manhattan creates natural comedy and emotional stakes as he navigates a world completely foreign to him.
↳ Character arc for Walter shows meaningful growth from workaholic father to reconnecting with family values and Christmas spirit. His transformation feels earned through his interactions with Buddy.
↳ The tonal balance between comedy and heart works effectively. The screenplay manages to be consistently funny while building genuine emotional moments, especially in the Central Park climax.
↳ Clear stakes and escalating tension drive the third act. When Santa’s sleigh needs Christmas spirit to fly, it creates a tangible goal tied directly to Buddy’s belief in the magic of Christmas.
↳ Buddy as protagonist works because his childlike enthusiasm is both comedic and endearing. His unrelenting optimism serves as both obstacle and solution throughout the story.
Where the Script Could Get Stronger (Just Our Opinion)
↳ Develop Jovie’s character further. Her relationship with Buddy feels somewhat underdeveloped. Give her more agency and personal stakes beyond being Buddy’s love interest.
↳ Strengthen the Miles Finch subplot. While comedically effective, this conflict resolves abruptly. Perhaps create more fallout from his departure that Walter must solve creatively.
↳ Add more emotional texture to Michael’s storyline. His relationship with Buddy develops quickly from rejection to acceptance. Show more gradual bonding moments between them.
↳ Create more believable obstacles for Buddy’s adjustment to human world. His transition seems too easy at times. Show him struggling more authentically with cultural differences.
↳ Enhance the climactic scene where Walter finally sings. This pivotal moment could have more buildup showing Walter’s internal struggle with vulnerability and belief.
↳ Clarify Santa’s powers and limitations earlier in the script to establish clearer rules for the magical elements, making the final crisis more coherent.
Happy Holidays & Happy Writing!
Thank you for taking the time to read our blog article about Elf. Whether you’re in the middle of writing the first draft of your screenplay or just looking for creative inspiration, we hope these insights will help you add a little more magic to your next screenplay.
We wish you a Merry Christmas and happy holidays.
